----> CODERS.GER-MAG 1/97 <---- ================================================================= Editorial: ================================================================= Hier ist also die erste Ausgabe des ASCII-Magazins #Coders.ger Vielen Dank an alle (Hier:BJ) für die rege Teilnahme. Das nächste mal bitte ein paar mehr ;-) Votings bitte an The_mighty_ASP@T-Online.de oder an den Mailverteiler. In dieser Ausgabe haben wir Artikel über WIFE 1.0 Dazu einige interessante WWW-Seiten und Witze. Nochwas über den PinHead gibt's auch und Tips und Tricks. Jo. Schaut halt mal reyn. (<--- MS-Spell-Checker) Hehe %-) ================================================================ Inhalt ================================================================ Leserbriefe: Werbung: Grüsse: #Coders.ger: Der Liebe Pinhead FUN : Software Test : Wife 1.0 JOKES Net Corner: Interessante WWW Seiten Tips & Tricks: Tipc & Tricks für UAE Tips & Tricks für Windows 95 Kurse : Nasenboren fr Anfänger (Teil 1) ============================================================== Leserbriefe ============================================================== Hey das ist das coolste mag das ich je gesehen hab :) BJ/DesirE Macht weiter so !!! BJ/DesirE Ich werde mich in Zukunft aktiv beteiligen /me/#coders.ger Scheiss Mag !!!!! (mode #coders.ger +b ... by BJ) ============================================================== Werbung ============================================================== MEMBERS OF . + . . + . . + . /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ . + + / \ / \ / \ \ \ / \ / \ . . / /\ \/ /\ \/ /\ \ / \/ /\ \/ /\ \ ____________/ / / / \ \/\ \ \/ / /\/ \/ / \ \/____________ / / / / /\/ /\ \ \/\/ / / \ / /\/ . \ \/ /\ \ \ \/ /\ / / /\/\/\ \ . . \ / \ \ + \ / \ \ \/ /\ \ \ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ . . . . BJ: bdietri@student.uni-kl.de . KJELL: Morgenstern@tciyf.kiss.de + WOLFSKIN: Wolfskin@T-online.de . . ASP: The_mighty_ASP@t-online.de + + PODI: podlech@informatik.uni-muenchen.de . CARDIAC: lewerentz@t-online.de + + ^ . / \ . ^ . ^ / \ / / \ . / \ ^ / /\ / http://home.pages.de/~DesirE/ \ /\ /\/\/\ / /\ \ / \/ \ /\ \ // \ /\ / \_/ \/\ / / \ \/ / \/\/ \ \/ \/ \/ \___/ \/ --- NEW UPDATED PAGE COMMING END OF THE YEAR --- ============================================================== GREETING ============================================================== - The cool guys from DesirE Germany greet DESiRE NL - Bj grsst alle hbschen Mädchen ============================================================ CODERS.GER DAS MAG ============================================================== Was ist Coders.ger das MAG ??? ===================================================================== Der liebe PinHead : ===================================================================== Auf #coders.ger gibt es ja den schönen, lieben Pinhead mit einigen interessanten Features, die ja jedem bekannt sein drften. Wie wäre es nun, wenn man -wie es das auf anderen Channels gibt (z.B. #Pascal)- dem Bot eine Welcome-Message eingibt, die neue unregistrierte Besucher infor- miert, was in dem Channel so abgeht und halt Info ber uns... erklärt oder so. Hmmmmm.... Jo. Soviel dazu. ============================================================== Software Test : Wife 1.0 ============================================================== 1. Software for real life *************************** WIFE 1.0 Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always lauched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before). At installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day. Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0. - A "Don't remind me again" button - Minimize button - An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of cache and other system resources. - An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the systems hardware probe feature to be much more useful. I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend 1.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conficts over shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, The uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another thing that is very irritating -- all versions of Girlfriend continually popup little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0 ***** BUG WARNING ******** Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources. *** BUG WORK-AROUNDS *************** To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0. Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidently be downloaded from the UseNet. ====================================================== Jokes ====================================================== Two men Heard this one on the bus... A fellow stopped at a rural petrol station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old. The men worked right past the fellow with the soft drink and went on down the road. "I can't stand this," said the man tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men. "Hold it, hold it," he said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with this digging?" "Well, we work for the county, " one of the men said. "But one of you is digging a hold and the other fills it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Aren't you wasting the county's money?" "You don't understand, mister," one of the men said, leaning on his shovel and wiping his brow. "Normally there's three of us--me, Rodney and Mike. I dig the hole, Rodney sticks in the tree and Mike here puts the dirt back. Now just because Rodney's sick, that don't mean that Mike and me can't work." ====================================================== Bill Clinton is visiting a school. Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "TRAGEDY". One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a TRAGEDY." "No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT." A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a TRAGEDY." I'm afraid not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS." The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer. "What?" asks Clinton. "Isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a TRAGEDY?" Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he speaks: "If an airplane carrying Bill and Hillary Clinton were blown up by a bomb, *that* would be a TRAGEDY." "Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a TRAGEDY?" "Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an ACCIDENT, and it certainly would be no GREAT LOSS!" ====================================================== Thank you ma'am! There were two bulls, a young one named George and an old one named Sam. It was that time of year to satisfy the local female population, and young George was pretty excited. "Sam, Sam, can I go down to those heifers over there?" asked George. "George, relax. Here is how it works. We'll wait until they're lined up at the feed trough so we can have our way with the ladies in a nice orderly fashion." said Sam. "Okay, I can do that." George answered. Well, feeding time came and all the heifers were lined up just like Sam said and George was all excited to go down there, but Sam had a few more instructions. "Now George, here is how this is gonna work. I'll start at one end and you can start at the other. We'll meet in the middle" said Sam. "OK, OK, let's go!" said George. "Hang on George!. One more important thing to remember. These gals will let us have our way but you have to show some respect and be polite. OK?" said Sam. "Sure" says George. Well, they go on down to the heifers all lined up. George starts at one end and Sam at the other. George is pretty excited, but he remember's Sam's instructions about being polite, so as he is going along he makes sure to say - "Thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, thank you ma'am, sorry Sam, thank you ma'am." Heard it from a friend ====================================================== Convict hobbies Heard on the radio: Three newly incarcerated convicts are discussing how they will pass their time in jail. The first one pulls out a harmonica and says "I can play all my favorite songs on this." The second takes out a deck of cards. "I can play poker with myself with these." The third gets out a box of tampons. "Well, it says on here that with these I can go swimming, horseback riding, cycling, ..." ====================================================== SATAN'S TO-DO LIST FOR THE 20th CENTURY --------------------------------------- 10) Assassinate Archduke Ferdinand 9) Be at the Grassy Knoll on time 8) Handle the Tiemann Square demonstration 7) Drop package off at Hiroshima 6) Build that fence in Berlin the wife's been nagging me about 5) Come up with some sort of "Final Solution" to the Jewish problem 4) Visit Oklahoma City 3) Build a Greenhouse 2) Safety inspect Chernobyl factory 1) Vote for Preston Manning in the 1997 Canadian election ================================================================== Interessante WWW Seiten : ================================================================== http://netaddress.usa.net Hier ist ein mail forward service. Man kann sich eine Emailadresse einrichten die man dann auch bei einem Provider Wechsel behalten kann. Ich schlage vor das sich jeder eine Adresse einrichtet und zwar nach folgendem Schema. Nick.Group@usa.net Beispiel : Bj.DesirE@usa.net Questor.Inter@usa.net Http://www.dimension3d.com Hier gibt's Infos ber 3d Gfxkarten. Http://gear.kku..ac.th:80/cheat Eine Seite mit Cheats und L”sungen fr fast alle Spiele Http://askhp.ask.uni-karlsruhe.de/books/inetbuch/node1.html Ein Buch ber die Funktionsweise des Internets. (Besonders fr Anf„nger geeignet) ====================================================================== Tips & Tricks ====================================================================== Zum Amiga-Emulator: Der neue WIN-UAE bringt gegenber dem DOS-Pendant Geschwindigkeitssteigerung. Im Attachment befinden sich einige sch”ne Icons fr Emulator und Disk-Image. Zu WIN95: 1. Wie man das System 99,9% Zugriffssicher macht: -Kennwort setzen -Regedit starten -Schlssel "HKEY_USERS\.Default\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion" ”ffnen. -Neuen Schlssel "Policies" erstellen, sofern nicht vorhanden. -Darin neuen Schlssel "Explorer" erstellen, falls nicht vorhanden. -Darin erstelle man nun 11 DWord-Werte und benenne diese wie folgt: NoAddPrinter NoDeletePrinter NoDesktop NoDrives NoFind NoNetHood NoRun NoSaveSettings NoSetFolders NoClose NoDeleteFiles -Alle Werte auáer NoDrives auf 1x00000001 (1) einstellen -NoDrives auf 0x03ffffff (67108863) einstellen -Systemregistrierung beenden -Datei MSDOS.SYS editieren: Bei den Boot-Options folgende Zeile zufgen: NoBootKeys=1 -Die Datei Vtcpupd.exe fr die WIN95-1-Release besorgen um den OOB-Zugriff im TCP/IP abzustellen. 2. Wie man die Tilde in den Dateinamen abstellt: -Den Schlssel HKEY_LOCAl_MACHINE\System\CurrentControlSet\control\FileSystem\ ”ffnen und den DWord-Wert NameNumericTail 0x00000001 (1) erstellen. Danach werden lange Dateinamen in der 8+3-Schreibweise ohne ~ angezeigt. Epilog: Sollte mal jemand was „hnliches oder interessantes fr das MAG haben, dann HÄRRR DAMIDD !!!!!